Barry Talks! : Common Sense for Uncommon Times

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

You Can Tax Me, Fire Me, Lay Me Off, But Leave My Damn Oreos Alone
CNN: A lawyer who has spent much of his life enjoying Oreo cookies has sued Kraft Foods Inc. seeking to ban the much-loved cookies in California because they contain trans fat, an ingredient he calls inedible.
Broccoli cookies! Yeah, that's what we need! No, wait! Quiche cookies! Ooh, too much fat -- how about -- tofu cookies! They'll be good for you!

But In Fact Six Is Not Equal To Infinity
In the UK, some researchers put a computer inside a cage with six chimpanzees.
A single computer was placed in a monkey enclosure at Paignton Zoo to monitor the literary output of six primates.
But after a month, the Sulawesi crested macaques had only succeeded in partially destroying the machine, using it as a lavatory, and mostly typing the letter "s".
So the conclusion:
Paignton Zoo scientific officer Dr Amy Plowman said: "The work was interesting but had little scientific value, except to show that the 'infinite monkey' theory is flawed."
Personally, I don't think so. Maybe with oh, say, 20,000 chimps you might get a comprehensible word or two (I wonder what it would be?). Then with a million monkeys, maybe a sentence. With an infinite number -- well, who knows!
And in case you were wondering if this public money was well spent:
Director of the university's Institute of Digital Arts and Technology (i-DAT), Mike Phillips, denied [the project] had been a waste of money.
That's a relief.

So What Happens When the Government Doesn't Show Up?
In Texas, Democratic legislators don't want to vote on a Republican redistricting plan.
So they've run away.
And the police -- the Texas Rangers, to be specific -- are after them.
Turns out they're hiding in a Holiday Inn in Oklahoma.
Under Texas law if they come back into the state they can be arrested and forcibly brought back to the legislative chambers.
Yep.

Bombings in Riyadh
The car bombings in Riyadh bear the "hallmarks" of Al-Qaeda, says Secretary of State Powell. So far the death toll is at 20.
The Arab News reporting on this story offers this interesting tidbit:
Al-Majallah, a sister publication of Arab News, citing an e-mail message from a newly-appointed Al-Qaeda spokesman, Thabet ibn Qais, said last week that "an attack against America was inevitable."
Al-Qaeda has "carried out changes in its leadership and sidelined the Sept. 11, 2001 team," the magazine quoted Thabet as saying. "Future missions have been entrusted to the new team, which is well protected against the US intelligence services," the magazine quoted Thabet as saying. "The old leadership does not know the names of any of its members."
Discuss